056 Catch-22

In his novel Catch-22 Joseph Heller describes a set of rules, regulations or procedures, or situation which presents the illusion of choice while preventing any real choice. An example every guy understands: you wake up in the morning and you desperately have to pee, but you have an erection, which makes it hard to urinate, but the hard-on won't go away until you empty your bladder. It's almost impossible to aim at the toilet when your penis is pointing the wrong way, so you end up peeing on the wall, the floor, or yourself.


You may have developed your own technique for dealing with this catch-22, but if not, here are some methods to take care of the aiming part, customized for the angle of your dangle.

Upside down

If your erection angles up acutely, pointing at the ceiling, you’re out of luck. Your best bet is a one arm hand stand so you can hang upside down and let gravity do the rest. Find yourself a breakdancer to teach you this manoeuvre.

Fountain

After some practising this technique will surely impress your girlfriend and mates.

Out of the Window

Just open up the window or something, stick it out and spray around. This is a very boyish thing, but most guys would do it - just for kicks - if circumstances were there.